


Crying Over Unpayable Rooms

by covetsubjugation



Series: The Infamous Story of 'The Squad' [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 19:57:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7328365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covetsubjugation/pseuds/covetsubjugation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<b>get ur own dicc</b><br/>we haven’t discussed polyamory yet<br/>i might not be open to it</p>
<p><b>fight me</b><br/>aren’t you?</p>
<p><b>get ur own dicc</b><br/>oh i am</p>
<p><b>baguette fucker</b><br/>don’t i get a say</p>
<p><b>disney god</b><br/>am i invited<br/>or am i just to stand there and hand out lube"</p>
<p>*<br/>In which the squad finally meets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crying Over Unpayable Rooms

**Alex: The Certified Meme**  
_baguette fucker, disney god, fight me, get ur own dicc_

**fight me**  
guys have you seen the ad around campus??  
the grocery store one

**get ur own dicc**  
no??  
which one?

**fight me**  
“WANTED: someone to hold my hand while I enter the grocery store.   
It’s just the beginning part of the store that scares me, then I’m okay.”

**baguette fucker**  
same tbh

**fight me**  
you’re scared of the grocery store??

**baguette fucker**  
it’s just  
so much food??  
like everytime i go in 1000% i’m going to spend a fuckton of money

**disney god**  
why do u think we have sm food in the house  
laf can’t stop buying food

**baguette fucker**  
it’s a terrible habit

**fight me**  
i’m not complaining  
food is life

**get ur own dicc**  
food  
bless  
do you think anyone responded to that ad

**fight me**  
i hope so  
cause i did

**disney god**  
what

**baguette fucker**  
wHAT

**get ur own dicc**  
WHAT

_fight me has changed the group name to “The Crescendos”_

**fight me**  
you guys could form a barbershop quartet  
wait no that needs 4 people  
i have to be a part of it

**get ur own dicc**  
at least you can sing  
but that’s not the point rn  
what do you mean you responded???

**fight me**  
i mean i texted the number on the ad and responded

**get ur own dicc**  
what’s the number again?

**fight me**  
er 434-259-9260  
why

**get ur own dicc**  
there  
i replied too

**fight me**  
aww  
twinning

**get ur own dicc**  
<3

**baguette fucker**  
please get a room

**fight me**  
no need to be jealous laf  
you’re welcome to join

**get ur own dicc**  
we haven’t discussed polyamory yet  
i might not be open to it

**fight me**  
aren’t you?

**get ur own dicc**  
oh i am

**baguette fucker**  
don’t i get a say

**disney god**  
am i invited  
or am i just to stand there and hand out lube

**fight me**  
@ **disney god** ofc you’re invited

**get ur own dicc**  
@ **baguette fucker** what’s your say

**baguette fucker**  
polyamory is fine with me

**disney god**  
excellent

_baguette fucker has changed the group’s name to “The Four Musketeers”_

**get ur own dicc**  
do you think we’ll get paid for the grocery thing  
cause i am v v broke

**fight me**  
^

**disney god**  
you should just get them to buy you groceries

**baguette fucker**  
payment in food seems like a good idea

**get ur own dicc**  
you guys know we don’t just only pay for food every month  
student housing is gr9 but  
we got rent too  
alex how are you holding up on rent

**fight me**  
i got the cheapest possible option here  
i’m still broke af

**baguette fucker**  
how are you even paying for a whole room

**fight me**  
oh i’m not  
i spend a significant portion of time crying over unpayable rooms

**disney god**  
you can just move in with us

**get ur own dicc**  
i second that  
i mean you’re practically here the whole time  
you’re here rn

**baguette fucker**  
that’s true  
speaking of here alex can you move a bit closer i can’t quite put my head on you

**fight me**  
but john’s head is on me  
and i can’t quite move

**get ur own dicc**  
we’re all lying on each other  
we’ll all need to move

**fight me**  
there  
is that better

**baguette fucker**  
yes thank you  
so yes moving in

**fight me**  
you guys don’t even have enough room here  
you’ve got three rooms here  
my room is basically constructed out of books  
it’s a mess  
i’m a terrible roommate

**disney god**  
alex shut up and move in

**fight me**  
okay

**get ur own dicc**  
YES DAILY SLEEPOVER

**baguette fucker**  
john you spend most of your time sleeping in our rooms anyway  
you already have a daily sleepover

**get ur own dicc**  
sleeping alone is difficult

**fight me**  
well you got me now appaz  
so i can just sleep in your room

**get ur own dicc**  
#PolyamoryFTW

**baguette fucker**  
we can convert one room to a study  
so we got ,,,,,some,,,,,, space for your books

**disney god**  
you may have to give up some of your books alex

**fight me**  
nO

**get ur own dicc**  
“may” alex  
chill

**fight me**  
i have no chill

**baguette fucker**  
we know  
we literally met you because you got into a fight with the bursar

**fight me**  
good times

**disney god**  
can we have a housewarming?

**fight me**  
rt

**baguette fucker**  
rt

**get ur own dicc**  
rt

**fight me**  
can i get invite eliza

**disney god**  
to the party yes

**baguette fucker**  
to the poly group non

**fight me**  
wow jealously already

**get ur own dicc**  
we’ll just invite the schuyler sisters yeah?

**fight me**  
and aaron burr?

**disney god**  
sure why not

**baguette fucker**  
washington too

**disney god**  
how on earth is alex going to extend an invitation to  
number one his boss  
number two someone who is essentially a teacher

**baguette fucker**  
like this

*

**the four musketeers’ housewarming partay!!!**  
_aaron burr, angel, baguette fucker, disney god, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, gwashington, peggy_

_baguette fucker created the group “the four musketeers’ housewarming partay!!!”_

_baguette fucker added aaron burr_

_baguette fucker added angel_

_baguette fucker added disney god_

_baguette fucker added eliza_

_baguette fucker added fight me_

_baguette fucker added get ur own dicc_

_baguette fucker added gwashington_

_baguette fucker added peggy_

**baguette fucker**  
alex is moving in with us  
we’re having a party  
you’re all invited

**disney god**  
this isn’t what i expected  
but i don’t know why i’m even surprised

**peggy**  
who even are all of you????

**baguette fucker**  
oh i’m lafayette

**disney god**  
i’m hercules mulligan

**get ur own dicc**  
i’m john laurens

**fight me**  
alexander hamilton

**peggy**  
ohhhh  
you’re alexander hamilton

**fight me**  
i can’t tell if that’s a bad “ohhhh” or a good “ohhhh”

**eliza**  
hi alex

**fight me**  
hi eliza

**angel**  
you’re the kid who punched the bursar

**fight me**  
er yes  
but is that seriously my identifier

**gwashington**  
Why am I here?  
And Alex, you punched the bursar?

**fight me**  
…no?  
please don’t fire me

**angel**  
er

**gwashington**  
I heard that someone had punched the bursar.  
I probably should have known.

**fight me**  
am i fired?

**gwashington**  
We’ll see.  
Congratulations on moving, I suppose.  
I don’t think I’ll be attending, for obvious reasons.

_gwashington has left_

**aaron burr**  
Why am I here?

**get ur own dicc**  
alex invited you to the party

**aaron burr**  
Oh.  
Okay.

**fight me**  
are you coming aaron?

**aaron burr**  
We’ll see.

**disney god**  
these conversations are too tense for the beginning of a gc  
alex stop fidgeting you’re tickling me

**peggy**  
how on earth is he tickling you by fidgeting

**baguette fucker**  
we’re lying on top of each other  
aw i didn’t get to tell washington he's hot

**angel**  
EW

**get ur own dicc**  
YES PLEASE KINKSHAME HIM

**fight me**  
do you see what i’ll have to live with

**baguette fucker**  
@ **get ur own dicc** this coming from the guy who literally offered a couple of days ago

**eliza**  
@ **baguette fucker** @ **get ur own dicc** why are those your names  
and why are you guys the four musketeers

**get ur own dicc**  
private jokes  
#Friendship

**fight me**  
the group name is a work in progress really

**eliza**  
okay? i guess?

**peggy**  
from the names themselves i can already tell they are exactly as you said ange

**baguette fucker**  
and what _did_ you say angelica

**fight me**  
do i have to fight you

**peggy**  
^ living up to his name

**get ur own dicc**  
@ **peggy** ikr isn’t he cute

**peggy**  
@ **get ur own dicc** im withholding judgment

**angel**  
can i claim diplomatic immunity

**fight me**  
seeing as you’re not a diplomat no  
and you owe us for nearly getting me fired

**baguette fucker**  
his heart is literally pounding away so i would say he’s right

**angel**  
nothing too terrible

**peggy**  
i can promise that’s true  
eliza is the one who talks more about you guys

**eliza**  
PEGS

**fight me**  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**get ur own dicc**  
(  ͡°   ͜ ʖ  ͡° )

**baguette fucker**  
(   ͡°   ͜  ʖ   ͡°  )

**disney god**  
(     ͡°     ͜   ʖ    ͡°   )

**angel**  
you guys are the worst

**peggy**  
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T CALL ME THAT

**eliza**  
but look at what you have wrought

**fight me**  
are you coming to the party tho

**angel**  
probably

**eliza**  
yes

**fight me**  
(:

**eliza**  
(:

**peggy**  
ew  
and no since i don’t actually go to college  
let alone your college

**baguette fucker**  
@ **peggy** oh yeah i forgot  
/:

**fight me**  
i still would like you to come tho

**peggy**  
...  
we’ll see  
when is the party anyway

**disney god**  
…

**baguette fucker**  
er

**get ur own dicc**  
I

**fight me**  
so

**angel**  
are you kidding me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer, disclaimer: I'm not actually serious about the polyamory thing, it's just a friend jokey jokey thing. Or is it? Nah, I don't actually know which ships are going to end up together. Is it lams? Is it the whole revolutionary crew? It is eliza/alex? Idk. Personally I like my hamwash/whamilton but I don't think it's going to be a thing in this fic.
> 
> The idea from the ad comes from this [tumblr post](http://bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com/post/146522705451/obviousplant-my-friends-and-i-wrote-a-bunch-of).
> 
> Also, I can't wait to show you guys who the ad poster is.
> 
> FINALLY THE WHOLE SQUAD MEETS. I am so tired, I went back to school after the term break and it was promptly announced all my submission dates have been moved forward and there is an additional project that no one knew about until now. Ha! I am so tired, please save me.
> 
> I live off your comments and kudos, please leave some if you think me worthy! I got a bunch of comments today and I nearly cried in class I swear.
> 
> We should be updating this soon, in like 2 days, hopefully, idk, I don't want to jinx things. For updates, my twitter is [here](www.twitter.com/saltyhart) and my tumblr is [here](www.bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com).


End file.
